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Funny Dog Quotes

Some of the funny dog quotes on this page will make you laugh out loud, others will make you smile. In any case, I'm sure you'll LOVE THEM ALL!

If you think dogs cannot count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.

- Phil Pastoret

Anybody who doesn't  know what soap tastes, has never washed a dog.

- Franklin P. Jones

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

- Rita Runder

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we are the greatest hunters on earth!

-Anne Tyler

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

- Robert Benchley

Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

- Unknown

More Funny Dog Quotes

Based on my wardrobe, my favorite color is...dog hair

- Unknown

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

- Unknown

Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.

- Colette

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother. Parents will settle for a puppy every time.

-Winston Pendleton


If a dog’s prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky.

- Unknown

So far, I've taught them "let me out" and "feed me". I'm still working on "get out of my chair".


The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.

- Margo Kaufman

Pug with funny face. I don't get it... What do you mean by that?

No home decor is complete without dog hair

- Unknown

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children*, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

- Robert Benchley

*Really, are there any particular dog breeds considered "perfect" for children? Click Here To Find Out

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog.  There's so little hope for advancement.

- Snoopy

It really is the dog's home. We just pay the mortgage.

- Unknown

There is an unspoken rule that when your dog is sleeping on you, you don't move.

- Unknown

I don't always bark at night. But when I do, it's for NO REASON!


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