Some of the funny dog quotes on this page will make you laugh out loud, others will make you smile. In any case, I'm sure you'll LOVE THEM ALL!
If you think dogs cannot count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
- Phil Pastoret
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes, has never washed a dog.
- Franklin P. Jones
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Runder
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we are the greatest hunters on earth!
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley
Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Based on my wardrobe, my favorite color is...dog hair
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother. Parents will settle for a puppy every time.
If a dog’s prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky.
So far, I've taught them "let me out" and "feed me". I'm still working on "get out of my chair".
The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
- Margo Kaufman
No home decor is complete without dog hair
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children*, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
- Robert Benchley
*Really, are there any particular dog breeds considered "perfect" for children? Click Here To Find Out
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. There's so little hope for advancement.
It really is the dog's home. We just pay the mortgage.
There is an unspoken rule that when your dog is sleeping on you, you don't move.
I don't always bark at night. But when I do, it's for NO REASON!
Great, because there are more HERE!
HOME > Dog Quotes > Funny Quotes